I saw a kid today wearing a tshirt that read “if i’m not happy, then nobody’s happy.” Now does that mean that this kid is always happy and if he isn’t then it must be bad mojo or a terrible situation? Or is he giving the world an ultimatum: make me happy, or you will feel my wrath in the form of your happiness. Are people making shirts that are the equivalent to social stickups? what ever happened to have a nice day? Some parent needs to smack that kid if it’s the latter. What is with the explosion of kids wearing shirts with words. On my way to work, through the throng of students getting to the high school in my neighborhood, it’s like reading grave epitaphs in a simpsons episode. i am just dying to see a guy wearing a shirt that says “i’m with stupid” with the arrow pointing down at his crotch. that shirt HAD to be made already.

IT’S SUMMER YALL! IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED! GET HYPED! IT’S THE HOLIDAY WEEKEND! and although it’s not going to be like yesterday and today’s amazingly comfortable low humidity high 80′s masterpieces, mid 70s and sunny is still a workable jam. Don’t be like that tshirt; find something this weekend that makes you happy. Thank you gothamist.com for insuring our happiness!

I saw fellini’s 8 1/2 last year in the astoria sculpture park, and although the night was ridiculously pleasant, in order to watch a foreign film of that complexity and wit, you need to be sitting up in a deck chair or something. Dont go drowsy if it’s your first go.

MOVIE: Tonight Alexei Kaleina introduces Fellin’s 1963 classic 8 ½. The “semi-autobiographical story about a worshipped director (Marcello Mastroianni) who struggles half-heartedly to work on his next picture. The pressures draw him within himself, and lead to a series of flashbacks and dreams delve into his memories and fantasies.”

Friday // 9:30 p.m. // Rubin Museum of Art [150 W 17th St] // Free with $7 bar minimum

TOUR: If you aren’t in the office all day, get a tour of the Garment District why don’tcha. “Look for the Union Label: The Garment District Tour. New York’s apparel industry traces its beginnings to Henry Hudson. On this Municipal Art Society tour you’ll learn about the evolution of the industry, including mass production and the development of ‘sizes’ as well as the human story of those who work in the industry. The stops include (as possible) inside a showroom and a factory and a fabled fabric store.”

Friday // 2 p.m. // Meet at 1411 Broadway (at 39th St) // $15

COMEDY: Today’s Gothamist Interviewee, Jen Nails, is performing the final show of Lylice, her one-person play about a school year in the life of precocious 12-year-old, Lylice Martin. Lylice’s exuberance will put a smile on your face as Nails plays original songs performed by the pre-teen and steps into a variety of characters playing Lylice’s teachers, who are as equally won over by her charm as they are worried for her–knowing how quickly the other preteens will chew her up. Come tonight and you might be lucky enough to win a free copy of Nails’s novel, Next to Mexico, adapted from the show last year.

Friday // 7 p.m. // The PIT [154 W 29th St] // $10

AIR SHOW: This weekend is the annual New York Air Showat Jones Beach. The USAF Thunderbirds will be flying above, as will the Canadian Forces Snowbirds, US Army Golden Knights, F/A-18 Super Hornet, and a number of civilian planes, such as The Horsemen who fly in three vintage P-51 Mustangs. Newsday has tips on the show.

Saturday & Sunday //10 a.m.-3p.m. // Jones Beach [directions for cars & mass transit] // Free, but parking is $8

THEATER: Playwrights Rachel Shukert (Johnny Applefucker) and Nick Jones (Jollyship the Whiz-Bang) are wrapping up a successful run of their medieval plastic surgery comedy The Nosemaker’s Apprentice, which chronicles a young orphan’s rise from interning with the local nosemaker to becoming one of the finest surgeons in Vienna, “cradle of quack medicine.” Time Out’s Helen Shaw writes, “you can always picture the two authors making a mess and totally cracking themselves up. Luckily, this is often infectious.” (The last performance is tonight, after which you should stick around for John DeVore’sBroke, a lively variety show/support group for the unemployed.)

Saturday // 8 p.m. // The Brick Theater [575 Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn] // $18

MUSIC: The Spicy Times ladies are bringing you another edition of their monthly party at Union Hall this weekend! The lineup includes The Jaguar Club, Spanish Prisoners and ECHOecho. Drink specials are promised!

Saturday // 8 p.m. // Union Hall [702 Union St, Brooklyn] // $8

THEATER: Neil LaBute’s Tony-nominated, critically-acclaimed bittersweet comedy reasons to be pretty is still hanging in there, despite shockingly poor ticket sales. In April, we interviewed one of the four excellent cast members, Marin Ireland, and we’re reminding you again to check it out before it’s gone. The play, which chronicles two couples whose relationships disintegrate for two very different reasons, is LaBute’s most emotionally resonant work to date. It’s also very funny. The cheapest tickets are $31.50 for the last section of the balcony; buy those and the ushers will let you move closer because of all the empty seats. And today actor Bobby Cannavale joins the cast for a post-show discussion.

Sunday // 3 p.m. // Lyceum Theatre [149 W 45th St] // Tickets

EVENT: The Yard welcomes you this weekend with Sunday Best with Justin Carter, Eamon Harkin, Doug Singer and special guest Quentin Harris. Right on the scenic and smelly Gowanus Canal, you’ll get tacos and huaraches on fresh-pressed tortillas, homemade sangria, a tree-canopied dance floor and of course music. Lazy Sunday, indeed.More details here.

Sunday // 3 to 9 p.m. // BKLYN Yard [400 Carroll St, Brooklyn] // $8

MOVIE: To celebrate the creation of new pedestrian plazas in Times Square and Herald Square (by way of shutting stretches of Broadway to vehicular traffic), the Times Square Alliance is hosting the “first ever full length motion picture event on The Great White Way.” Naturally, it’s the 1949 classic On The Town, starring Gene Kelly, Frank Sinatra, Jules Munshin as sailors on shore love who are looking for love as they sing, “New York, New York, it’s a helluva town: the Bronx is up and the Battery’s down.”

Monday // 12 p.m. // Broadway at 47th St // Free

BBQ: Classic Williamsburg cocktail oasis Huckleberry Bar is doing their regular 4-7 p.m. happy hour this afternoon, and kicking it up a notch in their garden with burgers, bratwurst and veggies, “with some very yummy traditional sides.” The feast for the palate will be followed by a feast for the funny bone at 10 p.m., with a two-film salute to Bill Murray: Groundhog Day, then Caddy Shack. Judge Wallace Dixon, who recently cited Caddy Shack in his ruling against Rudy Giuliani’s son, is surelyon his way to Brooklyn.

Monday // 4 p.m. // Huckleberry Bar [588 Grand St, Brooklyn]

MUSIC: This weekend, one of the original players from the Miles Davis album On the Corner pays homage to the album (which was initially a flop when it came out in the early ’70s). Join soprano saxophonist Dave Liebman, Karl Berger and Graham Haynes as they revisit it.

Monday // 8 p.m. // Merkin Concert Hall [129 W 67th St] // $30